Just like this photo, I had to offer numerous people a tall frosty mug of...

SHUT THE FLUCK UP!

all throughout the football game yesterday! Surprisingly the same talkative lint lickers were silent during the commercials and the halftime show! Selfish cootie scratchers! ***UGH***

Plate lickers like dude in this photo just gross me out whether its done in public or in the comfort of one's home. Yesterday I was at a restaurant and this dude picked up his plate and licked it! OMFG! Have we evolved beyond such animal tendencies?

Or should we all lick our plates these days because so many people including Haiti are starving and have no plates nor food to lick????

Highly respected Chris Mathews of MSNBC states REPEATEDLY in his video that "President Obama's speech last night was so intelligent he forgot Obama was black!" Does this imply the color of one's skin determines one's ability to communicate in an intelligent fashion?

Although Chris Mathews seemed to have good intentions by praising America for overlooking the race of our President, unfortunately he simultaneously perpetuated racist stereotypes just by mentioning the race of the President. 

Luckily, he doesn't represent the masses! 

Just when you thought dances couldn't emulate sexual acts enough, here's a video of kids doing the latest dance which reminds me of doggy style for some reason! Although I'm blessed with bootay, I lack the coordination to pull this one off unfortunately *sigh*

Just like this photo, here I sit broken hearted, ready to wipe but there's just an empty tube where the toilet paper used to be. 

Ofcourse it only happens at the most inopportune moment when I ate Mexican food for dinner and forgot to look before I released toxins into the toilet bowl!

My neighbor in the next stall won't even share a few squares, like its her own personal stash.

Why isn't there some type of warning signal that goes straight from the toilet paper holder to the door of the bathroom stall warning ahead of time to look before you squat??  We can send men to the moon, yet no automated toilet paper reminder?

Well thank goodness the empty toilet paper roll is made of paper or I would literally be butt outta luck! HA!

I understand the need to loot to survive after a crisis, BUT to violently hurt children like the kid in this video being saved by Anderson Cooper of CNN in Haiti, is just sad. 

Its also been reported that the violent looters have made volunteer doctors and nurses flee Haiti due to fear of their safety from looters. So the violent looters are preventing even the injured from getting medical attention.

Its sad BUT the United States is just one catastrophe away from the same thing happening as the wealthy continue to have it all and the poor continue to have nothing.

Not only is the guy in this video sharing spit with his dogs lips, he's actually giving the dog mouth-to-mouth resuscitation(CPR)!

And it saved the lil' puppy's life!

He saved two puppies and their mother from a burning apartment building in Texas on Thursday. When he saw one of the puppies not breathing, his instincts kicked in and gave the pup mouth-to-mouth.

I luv dogs BUT I draw the line, especially since they can't return the favor and resuscitate me!

How dare the skanks in this video ruin the innocence of Star Wars by dressing up as Star Wars characters then stripping down?? They even managed to bastartize C3P-O!

What's next women stripping on the Enterprise?? Whenever man-kind does ludacris things like this, it makes me wish for an Armageddon tomorrow!

Watch the idiocracy in this video as Reverend Pat Robertson makes a ridiculous proclamation on The 700 Club that the reason Haiti was affected by the earthquake is because of a "pact with the devil" they made to be free from the French.

Luckily ignorance isn't contagious!

Here's a video clip from the Obama the musical called "Hope!" which re-enacts the election of 2008 with Obama, Hilary Clinton and even John McCain belting out songs and dance productions! The musical debuts in Germany this month since Germany created this horrific yet funny shiz.

I wonder if Sarah Palin will be playing herself in the musical????

I have no sympathy for the guy in this video whose hair catches on fire from the candle while he's in the hot tube tonguing down his date who happens to be Pepper from the rap group Salt & Pepper.

Didn't he learn anything from Michael Jackson's jheri curl debacle? Chemicals and flames don't play together nicely. 

By the way, this video is from Pepper's new dating reality show "Lets talk about Pep" which appears to be a dating show where Pep and three other non-celeb women go on dates and discuss their date afterwards in a "Sex in the City" type of restaurant style! Although I hate dating reality shows, I will be watchin this one with popcorn.

I can't be mad at the stripper in this video for pole dancing with a fake leg since she's this is her stimulus package and the strip club obviously has a "will hire the handicap" policy; BUT I do wonder...

Is this exploitation of the handicap?

Do the patrons feel "obligated" to tip her cause she's handicapped?

If she was an overweight stripper with two working legs would she be hired by this club?

Does she put glitter lotion on her fake leg to make it shiny like the rest of her body??

So many questions, so little time.....

Even the cat in this picture knows that stretchy pants are the number one cause of over eating and obesity yet companies keep making them! 

I would NEVER have gained as much weight over the holidays if they never invented elastic waist bands and stretch jeans that keep me feeling comfortable no matter how much I gobble!

Then I look at the scale and GOT-DAYUM!

May all the elastic waist band makers and stretch jean makers burn in Satanville forever and ever (with the creator of Oreo cookies!)

One of these days I'm gonna "catch a police charge" due to bad customer service like this picture!

I was on the phone with customer service and the rude chick obviously couldn't help me so I politely asked to speak to her supervisor.  SHE REFUSED TO TRANSFER ME!! 

I finally asked for her address so I could go ask her to transfer me in person, then she hung up on me!

Note to any customer service reps reading this, if you wanna avoid a jurassic arse whuppin, refrain from the following phrases when talking to a customer:

"MY SUPERVISOR WILL TELL YOU THE SAME THING...."

"CALM DOWN..."

"THERE IS NO REASON TO USE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE WITH ME..."

"PLEASE TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF MY NECK, I CAN'T BREATH...."

What's worse than snakes on planes? Sex on trains!

This picture of a couple having sex on a local train forcing other commuters to watch is another example of society heading for 2012 Armageddon. 

If I were a passenger on this train, I would request a refund because I didn't pay my hard earned money to have my sense of sight, sound AND SMELLcompletely violated.

But I imagine alot of men on the train only wished they had some lotion and tissues to further enjoy the virtual ride before their stop!

Here's a news video mocking reality tv trampz!

After watching countless episodes of Jersey Shore, Flav of Lov and Rock of Lov type shows I need a shot of penicillin just for watching these sexual transmitted diseased hoocheez! 

My hopes that 2009 would be the end of the "hoocheez TV fest" but there are numerous shows scheduled to air in 2010 such as Ray J, Entertainer of Lov and I Love NY 3 which will be airing this summer. *UGGGGHHHH*

Mary J. Blige should not have to slap her husband in public and ask him

"What are you gonna do Chris Brown me?"

after catching her hubby's wondering eyes while she's promoting her new CD during the holidays ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE IS THE BREADWINNER OF THE COUPLE!!

If you've been under a rock, here's what happened per the NY Daily News:

Mary J. Blige punched husband Kendu Isaacs in the face at her record release party at club M2 Tuesday night. The singer slugged Isaacs, drawing blood, after she thought he was flirting with a waitress. "She turned to him and was screaming, 'You're not going to ruin my night,' " our witness says. "They got up in each other's faces before someone tried to separate them, at which point she shoved the guy aside, pulled back and popped [Isaacs] in the face." Our witness relates, "She was yelling at him, 'What are you gonna do, Chris Brown me?" Four of her bodyguards and two of the club's kept them apart." Isaacs was kicked out. Blige went to the bathroom to fix her hair and makeup, but soon fled, creating an uncomfortable scene for partygoers Jay-Z, Beyoncé and Busta Rhymes.

I guess I shouldn't hate on rappers like this dude Maino trying to cash-in by making this Tiger Go Get'em rap song about Tiger Woods womanizing escapades; but I do hate this dude Maino trynna cash-in on this because I'm pissed I didn't think of it first.

For the real rap fans out there, is this a hit or miss track???

A friend who is helping me fight the apocalypse caused by "snuggies" sent me this picture as the snuggie manufactures now want to cause obesity and laziness in dogs as well as people with their snuggies for dogs! Here's a photo of the future of man's best friend who used to crave exercise and healthy eating before snuggies:

STOP SUPPORTING THE SNUGGIE WORLD AND PLEASE BURN THE SNUGGIES OF ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES!!

Here's the video of the chick Snooki from Jersey Shore reality show getting punched in the face by a guy in a bar after she tells him to:

"get your ugly arse out of our face."

After he punches her in the face, she lays on the floor crying!

Women need to realize you can't talk slick to ANYONE and not expect repercussions REGARDLESS of the gender!! We're in a recession and tempers are short!  Sponsors of the MTV reality show are now pulling out thinking Snooki is the victim and here's how the news reported the incident as if Snooki was completely innocent and undeserving of getting...

"KNOCKED THE FLARK OUT!"

FYI - She was arguing with the guy over a drink they both thought was there's. The guy, who happens to be a high school gym teacher, was arrested for assaulting her even though she insulted him. Oh well, since he can't get violent with his students he can get violent with a bird from Jersey shore lol!